At a certain point in life, you start to realize that your experiences shape your reality. For me, celibacy is not just a practice; it's a pathway to self-discovery, healing, and learning how to be selective with my energy. And let’s be real for a moment—this celibacy experience is not about becoming a bitter, jaded version of myself. It’s about growing and evolving into someone who knows their worth and will no longer settle for anything less than what aligns with their highest good.
Why Celibacy Isn't About Deprivation
When most people think of celibacy, they think of deprivation—of holding back from something that’s naturally supposed to be shared. But that’s not how I see it. This experience is about being intentional. It’s about learning to pause, reflect, and choose what and who I allow into my energy. This period of celibacy isn’t meant to punish myself; it’s a time to reconnect with myself and understand what I truly desire in a partner, in love, and in life.
Be Selective, Not Bitter
One of the most important things I’ve learned along the way is that celibacy isn't about being bitter or harboring anger towards men or anyone for that matter. If you are filled with hate or envy, this path isn’t for you. It’s not about holding onto grudges or letting negative emotions take over your life. Instead, it's about being selective—selecting your energy, your space, and the people you allow into it.
I refuse to feed any energy that diminishes what I want in life. For me, that’s a healthy relationship with a healthy man. I desire someone who respects me, loves me authentically, and meets me at the level I’m working to elevate myself to. So, I choose to spend this time focusing on myself and learning how to create a space within me where this kind of relationship can manifest.
Changing the Narrative
For a long time, the narrative around love and relationships was one of seeking outside validation, filling a void, or simply being with someone just to avoid being alone. But for me, celibacy is about changing that narrative. I’m not here to settle. I'm not here to entertain toxic energy, unhealthy dynamics, or anything less than what I truly deserve. At some point, unless you choose to live in solitude forever, it’s time to change the narrative.
This is the time to break free from patterns of codependency and distraction. It’s time to shift the focus from "I need someone to complete me" to "I am complete and whole, and I will only invite people into my space who respect that." Being celibate gives me the clarity to see exactly what I want in a partner and what I don’t.
What Does Celibacy Look Like for You?
Everyone’s celibacy journey is different. For some, it’s a way to heal from past relationships or traumas. For others, it’s a spiritual journey of connecting more deeply with the self. For me, it’s about taking a pause to evaluate what I want and need in a relationship moving forward.
Being celibate allows me the opportunity to truly discover who I am and how I want to show up in the world. It helps me understand what I’m ready to attract, and what I’m no longer willing to entertain. It’s about reclaiming my energy, and seeing how powerful I can be when I don’t allow external distractions to take away from my sense of self.
At the end of the day, celibacy is not about depriving myself of pleasure or human connection. It’s about healing, growing, and becoming selective with the energy I invest. If you’re considering celibacy, I encourage you to embrace it not as a punishment, but as an opportunity for self-discovery, healing, and reclaiming your power. You deserve the space to learn what truly aligns with your desires, and to create the narrative you want for your life and relationships.
So, ask yourself: What does celibacy look like for you? And what are you choosing to create in this sacred time?
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